Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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