the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
