So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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