it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
