oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
