Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
