hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
