Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
