dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
