Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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