Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
