i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
