foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
vagina is talking i cant
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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