I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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