i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
