Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
