Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
