puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
