i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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