Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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