If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
