nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
