I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
