So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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