Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
