We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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