Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
