my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
