tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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