Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
