she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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