What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
