I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
