About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
