I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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