He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
