Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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