You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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