Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
