Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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