So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
