: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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