Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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