No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
