I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
