Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
