I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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