so that wasnt chicken after all
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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