I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
