So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
