I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
