I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
