She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
