I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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